Good Divorce?

I have laid out some arguments on why I think divorce is not an option at this point so now I am here to point out the good effects of divorce. As we all know, the Philippines is one of the few countries who has not passed the divorce bill and we can clearly see that our catholic orientation has been a dominant factor. In my previous arguments, I have stated that divorce is a way for couples to take marriage for granted. Given this, Filipino Catholics (especially the devout ones) tend to oppose the divorce bill. Marriage is not something that should be taken for granted and I truly believe that any problem between the married couple could be solved given the right opportunity. But what if the problem is beyond the couple’s ability to compromise? Do they still have to force things and make it work even though they have no possible solution to their problems?
Of course annulment is always a choice that every couple can make in order to achieve legal separation but is annulment enough for the growing amount of separation cases in the country? Here is why I think divorce should be implemented in the Philippines. First and foremost, divorce unlike annulment is an easier way to end thing between the couple. You might think that divorce can jeopardize the sacredness of marriage but I think the same can also be true with annulment. My second point is, Divorce is so much faster than annulment. In annulment, a lot of investigation must happen in order for the separation to materialize but in divorce, the consent of the couple is enough. Annulment is more costly than divorce since it takes a long time to process than divorce. Given this, we can clearly see that divorce is a timely option for the Filipino people because majority of the population are suffering from poverty.
A broken family is a bad situation for any child or parent but a whole family that is trying to pretend that everything is okay is even worse. I am not saying that a divorce is necessary for every broken marriage; all I am trying to say is if saving the marriage is not already an option then maybe the best way to end things is through the easiest way. I am a devout catholic and I still think that we must preserve the sanctity of marriage but if things are not working out for everyone then I guess that it is time to face reality and make things easier for everyone. I also know that the easy way out is not always the best way but in situations that involve the welfare of everyone in the family, I think the easy and the fast way should always be prioritized.
At this point, I am still not pro divorce bill but this article made me see the good things we can get from the bill. Of course, the negative effects still outweigh the good ones but I am confident that in time we will all reap the good benefits of the divorce bill.

Laws of Attraction

This topic reminds me of the film, “Laws of Attraction”. The film is about the two top divorce lawyers in New York City having opposing clients who want to have a divorce. The two lawyers face each other in court and they desperately want to win the case of their clients for the title of top divorce lawyer in the city. The main reason for the divorce is that the husband keeps on having affairs with other girls since he is a famous rock star. In the middle of the film, the couple was having a discussion regarding the separation of their properties. It seems they made the job of their lawyers a lot easier when both of them were only asking for one thing. Unfortunately, they are asking for the same thing. In an effort to win the case, both the lawyers went to Finland in order to gather information against their client’s opponents. When they got there in the evening, they had to wait until morning for the caretaker to arrive. In order to kill time, they went to a local bar. They found themselves enjoying each other’s company and soon enough, they were drowning in alcohol. Next morning when they woke up, they found out that they got married last night. They agreed to get a divorce when they get back to New York City and just forget things. As the plot of the film progressed, they grew fond of each other and eventually led to them living together.

This film paints a funny picture of how people can get too hasty with their decisions. They resort to having a quick solution to something that turned out to be not a problem after all. Taken from this example, if divorce was legal here in our country, people would have that tendency to resort to this quick solution to their relationship problem. Which could be very well a waste of opportunity to fix a problem that could still be fixed. If couples really love each other, they will find a way to work out their differences  and fall back to each other. This is why investing time in pre-marital relationship is very important. This is also the reason why I don’t believe in irreparable differences between couples. Irreparable differences only happen when they married the wrong person.  Marrying the wrong person would not happen if they took time to get to know each other very well.

It seems so easy but it’s really difficult to do, especially with the present condition of our society. What we need right now is to strengthen the bond between couples. But that lies within the family only. No outside force or influence can do that for them. In fact, in some cases, outside influences are the ones pushing couples to part ways. Of course, these opinions are coming from a stranger’s point of view. Like I said in the previous entries, only couples can fix their problems. Only they can resolve issues regarding themselves and their family.

May Divorce be with You

Perhaps there’s much more to this divorce thing than we should discuss. Divorce could have many false pretenses. When we think about it, is there really a need for divorce in the Philippines? Aren’t we coping well enough as we are right now? When we look at today’s society, we cannot deny that there are many failed relationships that have surfaced since we can remember. But to what reason can we blame these failed relationships? Let’s suppose that we do make divorce legal in our country, what effect would that have on us? People who got legally separated in our country are arguably happy right now with their lives. The only problem is that they can’t marry again. Perhaps it’s a case of learning their lessons?

If we legalize divorce in our country, we will allow separated couples to remarry. What good will that do? One of the arguments of the people in congress who are pushing to pass the bill is that, they want to lessen domestic violence against women and children. If we legalize divorce, what certainty will it give us that domestic violence will not take place again in the second marriage? It all boils down to the circumstances that people are in. Moreover, there’s no assurance that people who get divorced want to find a new spouse.

It’s just a wonder why congress is in a hurry to pass this certain bill. There are many other thing s that they should be putting their minds in to. There are some speculations that they are just using the divorce bill as a segue to distract the attention of the Filipino people from the issues that face the government.

If and when congress passes the said bill, I don’t think that the ordinary people can afford the due process of divorce. The upper class people would be the only ones who can afford it. The rest of the Filipino people will not have a choice whether the bill is passed or not because they don’t have the money to spend for lawyers. It will just be the same for them and it will make no difference. Another thing, I don’t think that the courts will have the time or the resources to deal with the number of cases of divorce that people will file once the bill becomes legalized. The time that it will take for those cases to be processed, and judged will take years to develop.

Lastly, we need to disclose information about this bill so that people would at least know that the what they can get from it. they need to explain it clearly especially to those who are against the bill that having it will make their lives easier. It would take a lot of effort and money for us because we need spend for materials and resources needed. Personal differences can be set aside for the benefit of greater good. Just be civil and not resort to drastic measures. 

The Sacrament of Marriage

The Philippines has the biggest Christian population in all of Asia. We take pride in our religion. We take pride in being a conservative Christian country. Even in our constitution, our book of laws, the presence of God is within its provisions. Nowhere in the teachings of Christ says that we should end our marriage. In fact, Christ himself is the basis of the sacrament of marriage. If we value our God and His teachings so much, why are we proposing a bill that would directly go against His word? Not only that, why do we put ourselves and our spouse and our relationship with him or her in peril?

I am not a conservative catholic, I admit. But if I look at the people around me, seeing broken families is almost normal already in our society. This should not be the case. If we truly value our religion, we should do everything that we can to fix our differences in our family. After all, it’s not everyday that we get to marry. Come to think of it, we should only get to marry once, and only once. Our sacraments should not be broken in any way.

We should not keep on making comparisons between our country and the US. we are a totally different people from them. we should not join this bandwagon. I personally think that there are tons of reasons that our country should stray from the influences of other countries.

From my own personal experience, having parents parting ways made it more difficult for me to grow up. The essence of a complete family is missing. The joys and the comfort of having both parents with you, supporting you, and guiding you as you grow makes it enviable for other children. It’s going to be difficult for a child to grow up with one parent missing. That’s why there are two people that should guide the child’s development. Having household help would not count as good as the care and nurturing of a real parent.

I’m guessing that the more problems that couples go through, the more they tend to break away from each other. That’s what we’re doing wrong. There are lots of ways where we can preserve the essence of the family. Not every family can be the successful at this I can admit, but as much as possible, we should not give ways wherein they can resort to breaking them up. There’s always a chance for them to take that option if it is given or presented to them.

Legalizing divorce would be a big mistake and would do no good to our society. We’re better off this way than to be like other countries out there where they give the couples the option to part ways. This would just encourage them to do so. We should always keep in mind that scared vow that we took and we should never break that vow. Breaking that vow would be like breaking a promise to God and our country.

Divorce and the Legal Process

Do people really understand the difference between divorce and legal separation? If you ask me there are only a few differences between the two. People say that legal separation takes a longer time than divorce that’s why divorce is better than just legal separation. Given the justice system here in our country, I don’t think that will necessarily be the case. A simple theft or robbery case takes so long to be settled in court. Unless you’re a big shot celebrity or government official, if you’re an accused criminal, you won’t even know that your case is being processed or anything. Worst comes to worst, you’re in jail without even knowing the duration of your sentence or without being sentenced at all. The justice system in our country needs more consistency .

When we think about it, why do people even consider about getting a divorce or legal separation in the first place? Why do people part ways? Could it be that one of them has become unfaithful? Could it be that one of them has just lost interest in the other? Or could it be that they married the wrong person? We really can’t tell what’s best for other’s relationship. What people don’t realize is that they should think well and through before they make that solemn vow.

Another thing that people say about divorce is that it would cost less and that it would be more efficient than legal separation. Again, given the justice system in our country and all the under the table transactions that go on, it would be just like any other case filed. Let’s face it, the only way for a case to progress significantly if you’re an ordinary citizen of our country is that if you have connections or give tips to people in positions.

The last thing that I would like to point out in this entry is that, divorce wouldn’t be a solution for a problem in a relationship. Again, I don’t believe in what they say as irreparable differences between couples. For me being in a relationship would mean that though sickness and health, through good times and bad, they should always stand together and work it out. As said in the constitution, the law shall protect the family at all cost. It doesn’t state that the law shall promote the separation of the couple when they face troubles. Naturally, when divorce is made legal, there is now the option for couples to part ways. Making divorce legal just makes the couple more vulnerable to separation even if what they’re facing can still be fixed. It encourages them to drastically put the family in jeopardy with its mere presence. That’s the main selling point of divorce.

People should take responsibility for their actions. Face the consequences and work them out like a family. Divorce should not be an option. Divorce should not even be in the mindset of the Filipino couple. Divorce is a social cancer. 

Divorce and Its Whereabouts

Are Filipinos ready for divorce? Do we even know what it’s all about? Why do we put so much importance on things that will benefit us in so little ways? My stand on this thing hasn’t changed just yet. I still firmly believe in the sanctity of marriage in our country. People often times misconstrue what divorce will actually bring to our society. What difference would it make if we allow people to forget the sacred vows that they took in front of God and the law? I don’t really believe in that divorce will make the lives of Filipinos easier nor that it will make our society a better place to live in in the future.

We can’t really make comparisons between our country and those who have a divorce law because, there’s no basis to start with. How can we compare ourselves to other nations when we are no where similar those successful countries at all. It’s bad enough that we want to be like the United States so bad that we have to compare us to them all the time, but we have to face the fact that we cannot be as successful as those other countries until we start putting the more important things first. I don’t understand why we have to be ignorant to the fact that the Philippines can do so much better if we just make the initiative.

Another thing that bothers me about those who are pushing for the bill to be passed is their argument that they want to lessen the number of abused women and children in our society. If you ask me, stricter implementation of the law is enough solution for all our problems. We have laws but we don’t even feel their presence. We see on TV government officials being accused of things but how many of the cases filed against them actually reach the courts? How many of those cases were able to be tried in court? How many of those accused were proven guilty and punished? In some cases, people who were proven guilty were just given a slap on the wrist. In some cases, some of them didn’t even go to prison. And if they did, they are being given special treatment.

What is wrong in our country today is the lack of knowledge of the basic laws of the majority of the Filipinos. But I can’t blame them. When all they see on TV and all they hear on the radio are government officials being accused of corruption, they would naturally feel indifferent towards the events that are taking place in our country. If there’s one thing I know for sure, divorce will just be an excuse for people to find an easy way out of their relationship problems. The bill itself has yet to be fully disclosed to all the people so that they can better understand the provisions and what it can do or not do for them. If they would just know the bill all throughout, I’m sure they would have second thoughts as well. 

The Hot Topic

So everyone's talking about divorce today. What's the importance of divorce anyway? For me, there are more important topics to be discussed than the failed relationships of Filipinos. I don’t know why we insist on copying every aspect of the United States. We keep on comparing ourselves to them. I think it’s time for us Filipinos to make something new of ourselves in this world and step out of the shadows of the imperial U.S.

This post serves as a shout out to our humble lawmakers in congress. We should focus more on the issues that are continuously ravaging our country for the past few decades. First, the education in our country needs a whole lot more attention and budget from our government. How can we have a society filled with failed relationships when we already have a society filled with uneducated and misinformed children? It’s time we focus on the more important issues surrounding us. Misinformation is drastically deteriorating the quality of students that our schools are producing. Focus more on education and less time on divorce.

The next issue that I feel that needs to be addressed in our country is poverty. Each year, more and more families are saying that they are below the poverty line. We really can’t point to a definite cause for the poverty in our country. A lot of factors can be attributed to the given poverty situation. But one thing is for sure, we are not giving enough attention to it. Perhaps we are too preoccupied with the trivial things that will make us look good in the eyes of other countries.

The last issue that I would like to discuss is corruption. I feel that this is the biggest problem that we’re facing right now. This problem contributes to the development of other problems in our country. It’s really hard to do the right thing especially when we’re in power. Saying no to something that will give you all the comfort and luxury that you can get your hands on is almost impossible. The problem of corruption in our government directly leads to the earlier two problems above discussed. Funds which are intended for the benefit of the common good aren’t being properly handled. In fact, in some cases, funds aren’t even being delivered at all. It’s really hard to be selfless when there are millions and millions of pesos that you can benefit from.

If you can deduce from the statements above, it all boils down to the willingness to make a difference. Filipinos have that tendency of going with the flow. We all get that typical “bahala na” mindset that we don’t even realize that it it’s the main reason why we are in this current situation in the first place. If we all just have the willingness and the right mind to make this country a better place to live in for us Filipinos, I think we can all surpass other countries in the world. If we want to be like the United States so bad, we should first want to be ourselves first. We should make that distinct Filipino identity of success that we can boast to other nations.

We are a nation of hard working people, and not a nation of maids and domestic helpers. We are a nation of capable individuals who can excel in every aspect of living. We can compete with the best of the world, and we can be the best in the world.

Getting to Know Each Other a Little Too Late

Getting to know each other a little too late

They say that the greatest paradox in the world is a happy marriage. But I think otherwise. So far my stand on the issue of the legalization of the Divorce Bill has not yet changed. This post will have sort of a resemblance to my first post. I’m still not a big fan of the divorce bill and this post is for emphasis on what I think is the most important aspect of a relationship.

 I want people to understand that investing in pre-marital relationships is the best thing that they can do. Investing as much time as possible with your partner even before you even come across the concept of marriage will make the biggest difference in your relationship. I believe that this is the best way for them to live happily ever after. Take years, decades if you must before you get married. Know your partner well enough that you can predict each other’s moves or words. Know every single aspect of him. Know every parcel of his character. Understand his or her behavior and attitudes. It’s not wise to get married when in fact, you’re only infatuated with a person. Know what makes him happy. Know what makes him furious. When you know your partner by heart, you can now think about marriage.

Investing that much time in your pre-marital relationship could very well pave the way for a happy marriage for you and your partner. For example, when you’re already married, you wouldn’t do things that would upset your spouse since you know those things very well already. Arguments can be avoided and excuses saying that your spouse didn’t know you were like that will not exist. Conflicts will definitely be minimized as couples are very familiar with each other.

Another reason why investing so much time in your pre-marital relationship would help a lot is that you can use that time to decide whether or not you really want to spend the rest of your life with that person. Time always plays a big part in relationships. Time is also your investment in getting to know the pros and cons of being married. The last reason why I think investing in pre-marital relationships is the best way to avoid a failed marriage is that, you should know very well if your partner is the one you want to start a family with. Do you really want to have children with him or her? Can you handle to obligations and responsibilities of being a parent and at the same time being a spouse? Because once you make that solemn promise in front of God and the law, you are bound by that promise to spend the rest of your life with him or her. Invest time to determine of you are ready to start a new life and begin a family with him or her.

Questions such as these can help people get through their lives a little bit better. Of course it’s not easy at all since we have to think long and hard about it, but this could very well be the only way to stay happily ever after. 

The Bandwagon

The Bandwagon

The Philippines is the only country in the world that does not have a divorce bill. Does that mean that it’s time for us to have one? Should we join the bandwagon of other countries? What good will it bring if we do have a divorce bill in our country? Would it really make that big of a difference? These are just some of the questions that are going around this very delicate subject.

Should our country join this bandwagon or divorce, we should not regret the consequences of our actions. There are countries out there that have the divorce law and yet they’re divorce rate is very low. Could this mean that it is not whether a question of the legality of divorce in our country but a question of what type of lifestyle we Filipinos have. Are we like those countries that have a low divorce rate or are we going to be like the U.S. wherein one out of every two marriages end up in divorce? How ready are we Filipinos for this law?

To my surprise Filipinos are very open to the idea of the divorce law being legalized. But we Filipinos are very hesitant about the passing of the RH Bill. I’ve always known that the Filipino culture is very adamant about change. We don’t like change. We are very closed-minded about change. We like things the way they are because we are afraid that new things will just bring problems. But why the sudden liking to this particular bill? Could it be that most marriages in our country end up as failures? Or is it just that the divorce bill would make it convenient for Filipinos to have new relationships?

What baffles me most about this bill is that, why are they so focused on the protection of women against domestic violence? Not all situations include domestic violence in the picture. And not to be sarcastic or anything, but aren’t there cases wherein the husband is the one being battered? The law strives for the protection of women and children but it doesn’t have any provision if and when the victim is the husband.

So what then should happen if and when a couple decides to file for divorce? Should they be allowed to marry again? If they make mistakes during their first marriage, it doesn’t mean that they won’t make mistakes should they be given the chance to marry again. What guarantee do couples have that if they are allowed to file for divorce, their spouses will continue to support or adhere to the agreement during the divorce procedure?

We really can’t say right now if this particular bill will be beneficial for us. On the other hand, we’ve lasted this long without a divorce bill. Why start now? Why now when we have more important things to worry about? Is the government just diverting our attention from issues that they have to face? Or does the government think that the Filipino society should be introduced to a new “solution” for their problems? Are we even ready for this bill? Do we even understand its provisions? We’ll see in the near future.

Divorce VS Legal Separation

Divorce vs Legal separation

Do Filipinos even know the difference between the two? In fact, what is truly the difference? From what I understand, legal separation, from its own name, is the legal separation of a married couple with the due process of law. In legal separation, couples are not allowed to marry again. The law still considers them to be married and still considers the bond to exist. Whereas in divorce, the law allows the couples to remarry and the law considers the marriage as it never existed.

As mentioned in the previous articles, my stand on this issue is not permanent. My stand could very well change through the course of my writing. So technically speaking, does our present 1987 Constitution prohibit Divorce? From what I understand from reading Article 15, I do not see any prohibitions against divorce stated in our constitution. The constitution states that it shall promote the welfare and development of the family and it (the constitution) shall protect and defend it at all times. It does not say anything that it does not allow divorce.

It’s really hard to take a side on this matter since situations where in married couples are considering divorce vary from couple to couple. I think the whole question here is whether we should allow people to remarry after being legally separated. Because in legal separation, the law recognizes still the couples to be married but they are not living together anymore. But in divorce, the law will allow couples to remarry.  

In my humble opinion, we should not allow people to marry again. We all are familiar with the ceremonies of marriage. There is a part in the ceremony where couples promise or vow to each other in front of God and the law to stay together for better or for worse. I believe that’s the most important promise a person will make. Spending the rest of your life with only one person and one person only is the best promise you can give to your partner.

Another thing that I wonder why people are thinking about legalizing divorce is that, why are they considering divorce to be legal in the first place? Are they thinking that they can just get a divorce if their marriage doesn’t work out well? In that case, they weren’t sure of their reasons for getting married from the start. But like I said above, it’s really hard to take a stand in this issue because different circumstances arise from case to case. Different situations call for different solutions. Who are we to say what’s good for someone else’s marriage. But I believe in the sanctity of marriage and marrying the right person. In my opinion, the moment we make that promise, we should never take it back. I know that relationships face problems which will lead them to part ways but I don’t believe in an irreconcilable problem. I believe that as long as you married the right person, you will find ways to come to an agreement and fall back on the right path.  

Day 5 June 8, 2011 - Is the Grass Greener on the other side?

This is my fifth post in this blog. This entry will have quite a twist in it. I must admit that the events that occurred in my personal life will have a slight effect upon this entry.

I’m beginning to be open about the infamous topic of divorce being legal in our country. I was surprised to know that the Philippines and the Vatican are the only countries in the world that doesn’t have a divorce law. Perhaps this is a sign that maybe it’s time for us to have one already? We really can’t blame the fact the Philippines has a pre-dominant religion which is Christianity. Maybe it’s time we stepped outside of our comfort zone and start being practical? A few insights struck me within these past few days. What if the relationship can’t be fixed anymore? What if it already came to the point that the partners are not happy anymore with their relationship? What would be the best option for them? What would be the best option for their children?

The thing I fear most about divorce being legal in the Philippines is that people will tend to use it as an easy way out of their problems. Filipinos have the tendency to abuse things whether legal or not. Are we ready for divorce to be legal in our country? There are a lot of cases wherein couples have already filed for annulment. But there are a lot of instances also where couples don’t go through the legal process of separation. Then the complexity of the paper work begins. They cannot remarry without having the proper legal separation according to the law. People usually don’t go through the legal process of separation because it is very time consuming, expensive, and tedious for them. Would legalizing divorce make it easier for married couples to end their marriage legally? If so, would this pave the way for a more vibrant and productive society? Or would it just make a mock out of the institution of marriage? Would it even make a difference?

I asked the last question since it’s common knowledge that majority of the people in our country is drowning in poverty. Only the small percent of our population can afford such a process like divorce. Would the majority of our poverty-ravaged population take the time, money, and effort to go through the divorce process? Would it even make a significant impact on their lives knowing that they can end their marriage legally? Or would they just look the other way and let things be since they can’t afford it. What difference would it make on them?

It’s really useless to ask people to stay in a relationship if both of them aren’t happy anymore. It’ll just get worse and worse as time passes. One cannot truly stay in a commitment if he or she does not want to be in it in the first place. It’s really up to the couple to decide on what they want to happen in their family. But if you ask me, divorce should only be a last resort. Nothing less than the last resort. 

Day 4 June 5, 2011 - 1 Family, 2 Houses

This is my 4^th entry for this blog. In this entry, I shall talk about the effects of divorce on the children. All cases of divorce will lead to a family having two houses, one house for each parent. That would suggest the scenario of children having to go back and forth the houses depending on the agreement of the parents. In some cases, children are deprived of the right to be with one of their parent because the parents cannot come to an agreement. It would be much difficult for the children if one of the parents move to a not so distant place.

 Naturally, parents need/have to see their children grow to support them and guide them. But how can they do that if they are forced to live far from their kids? It becomes the burden to the kids now that they have to travel back and forth just to see their mom or dad. It’s bad enough that they don’t get to see him or her that often but they have to ride planes in and out of the city/country just to be with their parent.

 Objectively speaking, children should not have to go through all of those just for them to see their mom or dad. This kid of lifestyle would definitely affect the child/children in so many ways. The parent with the children would have to work twice as hard since he or she doesn’t have a partner to share in the expenses of the household such as utilities, mortgage, and education. This would directly lead to diminished time with his or her children. The child would have to grow up within the supervision of the household help (given that they can afford it). The development of the child is now compromised since he or she is not given the full attention that he requires from his or her parent. More importantly, this could lead to the deterioration of the relationship between the child and the parent since they don’t get to spend much time together doing things that normal families should be doing. Imagine dealing growing up around people you are not related to at all.

I actually find it ironic how people need to pay other people to take care of their child. But that’s the sad reality that we have to face. The sad reality is that parents have to work even abroad just to earn enough so that their family can eat at least twice a day.  It would be naturally difficult for them. The child now will begin to seek attention elsewhere because he is not getting any at home. This could lead to the child growing up with the wrong kind of people doing wrong things. Many of mislead youth today can trace their problems back to their families. They would often reason out that their family is not really functioning like one. So they tend to get look for alternative ways for them to be noticed. So there you have it. It’s up to us to make things work for our family. We just have to figure out what to do. 

Day 3 June 4, 2011 - The Politics of Divorce

So this is my third post and I must admit, I'm getting challenged writing in this blog without being repetitive. This third post is going to be about divorce and how politics is involved in it. For some, they might say that the proposal is all about the protection of the family, women, and children. They might argue that with the present condition of our country today, divorce is a viable option for the protection of the family. Could it really be a solution?

I say NO. Divorce shouldn't even be an option. Divorce will just be used as an easy escape route to their responsibilities and obligations. I'm quite a conservative individual. I've read the provisions of the bill already and right now, I don't think that my stand is gonna change anytime soon. I was 13 when my parents parted ways. I must admit it was very difficult for me at first but I sort of got used to it already by now. I grew up as a teenager missing a parent. I spend most of my time home alone. I have to admit, it can get very depressing. Especially when I have no siblings. Sometimes I say to myself, I would want other kids to experience this kind of life. 

I'm surprised that the authors of this bill is GABRIELA. I think this party-list is a group striving for the protection of women and children all over the country. I always thought that women would be the ones against divorce. I guess it's just a typical stereotype of guys on women. Perhaps it's because we don't have divorce here in our country. 

If you read the introduction of the bill, there was a part there where the authors discussed about respect for religion and equality of treatments among religions in our country. They pointed out that in the Filipino-Muslim law, legal separation is allowed. But doesn't the whole point of the difference in religion contradict their argument? They're pushing for equality of laws among all religion. So why not respect the Catholic teaching of not allowing divorce? As I've mentioned in the first post, I am not a devout catholic. I don't even go to church that often. If parity in the laws among religion is what they're pushing for, they should probably reevaluate their thoughts because I think there is nothing unfair about our laws in the first place. It's amazing how ridiculous and silly some lawmakers can be. I was able to watch a plenary session a few years back and I couldn't believe what I was hearing. It was like a grade school class discussing the alphabet while singing nursery rhymes. I couldn't imagine how grown men and women can come up with such childlike ideas. 

My last point in this post that I would wish to convey to our great lawmakers who are in favor of the Divorce bill is to put themselves in a situation wherein they are deeply considering filing for divorce. I would like to ask them to think about how this could affect their lives and the lives of their children. Is this really the best way for you and your partner to resolve a problem? Is it best for the both of you or is it just the best for you only? Think wisely dear congressmen and women. It wouldn't hurt to use your brains once in a while.

Day 2 - June 2, 2011 The Remedy

This is my second post in this blog and i have to admit, I'm actually having fun writing. This blog has become my  refuge and my haven wherein I can say or be anything I want. So here goes nothing! 

I've read almost half of the proposal already. I want to start this post with the remedies that the proposal is offering.  HB 1799 offers the following remedies; “legal separation, declaration of nullity of the marriage and annulment and only adds divorce as one more remedy. Couples may choose from these remedies depending on their situation, religious beliefs, cultural sensibilities, needs and emotional state. While divorce under this proposed measure severs the bonds of marriage, divorce as a remedy need not be for the purpose of re-marriage; it may be resorted to by individuals to achieve peace of mind and facilitate their pursuit of full human development”.  The proposal gives us the following grounds for filling for divorce. According to “Title 2 Legal Separation and Divorce” under section 2, letter B, a person may petition for divorce based on any of the following grounds: 

(1) THE PETITIONER HAS BEEN SEPARATED DE FACTO FROM HIS ORHER SPOUSE FOR AT LEAST FIVE YEARS AT THE TIME OF THE FILING OFTHE PETITION AND RECONCILIATION IS HIGHLY IMPROBABLE;

(2) THE PETITIONER HAS BEEN LEGALLY SEPARATED FROM HIS ORHER SPOUSE FOR AT LEAST TWO YEARS AT THE TIME OF THE FILING OFTHE PETITION AND RECONCILIATION IS HIGHLY IMPROBABLE;

(3) WHEN ANY OF THE GROUNDS FOR LEGAL SEPARATION UNDERPARAGRAPH (A) OF THIS ARTICLE HAS CAUSED THE IRREPARABLE BREAKDOWN OF THE MARRIAGE;

(4) WHEN ONE OR BOTH SPOUSES ARE PSYCHOLOGICALLY

INCAPACITATED TO COMPLY WITH THE ESSENTIAL MARITAL OBLIGATIONS;

(5) WHEN THE SPOUSES SUFFER FROM IRRECONCIABLE DIFFERENCES THAT HAVE CAUSED THE IRREPARABLE BREAKDOWN OF THE MARRIAGE."

First off, legalizing divorce in our country is a terrible idea for a remedy  because divorce only complicates things with the family. Yes, complications and conflicts are indeed inevitable in the lives of couples but I know that there are no problems that can’t be solved. Divorce shouldn’t even  be an option at all for a family. We all know that the legal processes here in our country aren’t really up to speed if you guys know what I mean. I could only imagine the time it would take just to even prepare a documents like divorce papers. Under the table transactions in government offices are as widespread as the poverty in our country. The only way I know how to speed things up in government offices is to give an undocumented “tip” or more popularly known as “lagay”. By the time the paper works for a divorce papers would be finished, people would have probably forgotten that they have filed for divorce. Another reason why divorce would just make things complicated between partners is the procedures it would take for them to determine the custody of their children if they have any.

There would also be a dispute over the assets of the couple when divorce is filed. It’s normally difficult for couples to come to an agreement when it comes to separation of assets. The provisions in the bill with regards to separation of property are as follows; The absolute community or the conjugal partnership shall be dissolved and liquidated AND THE ASSETS SHALL BE EQUALLY DIVIDED BETWEEN THE SPOUSES but the offending spouse shall [have no right to any share of the net profits earned by the absolute community or the conjugal partnership, which shall be forfeited in accordance with the provisions of Article 43 

(2)] PAY TO THE INNOCENT SPOUSE ACTUAL, MORAL AND EXEMPLARY DAMAGES IN ACCORDANCE WITH THE PROVISIONS OF THE CIVIL CODE ON DAMAGES;

(3) The custody of the minor children shall be awarded to the innocent spouse, subject to the provisions of Article 213 of this Code;[and]

(4) THE INNOCENT SPOUSE AND THE CHILDREN SHALL BE ENTITLED TO SUPPORT IN ACCORDANCE WITH THE PROVISIONS OF THIS CODE;

(5) THE CHILDREN SHALL BE ENTITLED TO THEIR PRESUMPTIVE LEGITIME WHICH SHALL BE COMPUTED AS OF THE DATE OF THE FINAL JUDGMENT OF THE COURT; AND

As I’ve stated above, there is no problem that couples can’t fix. I’m pretty sure that COUPLES WILL FIND A WAY TO SORT THINGS OUT IF THEY REALLY WANT TO. No matter how deep a problem they may encounter, there will always be a common factor that holds them together. LOVE. Yes I said it. Call me a hopeless romantic if you must but this is what I think what matters most in relationships. Obstacles are presented to us to test us if we can get through them or not. Couples should be open with each other and more importantly, they must have trust.

This is just my humble opinion. Couples should have the dicretion on what to do with their relationship. They would know best after all. But as for me, this is what I believe in.

Day 1 - May 31, 2011

So we've been asked to blog about the pending House Bill in Congress which is the HB 1799, The Divorce Bill Philippines. For those who new to this certain bill, here's a link of the full text of the proposal. http://www.coolbuster.net/2011/05/divorce-bill-philippines-hb-1799.html.  Today is the first time that I've read the said Bill so I'm not very knowledgeable about it yet. This entry will be based purely on my thoughts and opinions regarding divorce in our country should we allow it then later on, I'll get to the more technical side of Bill once I've fully read the text.

Right upfront I'm going to openly say that I am against the Divorce Bill. I believe in the sanctity of marriage. I believe that marriage is the one institution that people should not take for granted nor rush into. I know most of you might think that I would know anything about the topic since I'm not married, but I've seen some marriages prosper and falter throughout my life and what I can tell you about marriages is that they always start out lovely in the beginning. From then on, it's up to the couple how they will resolve conflicts or problems that will inevitably face them. The main reason why I am against the proposed bill is because I know what consequences a broken family will bring to children. Based from the marriages I've seen from my circle of friends, almost half of them have already been broken. Perhaps it's a trend nowadays that couples tend to part ways. There are countless reasons for couples to part. But in my humble opinion, people should get to know their significant other very well first before they even think of entering the institution of marriage. Know your partner from head to toe. Know every bit and parcel of his/her being. Know his/her characteristics and imperfections. Only then that i think people should think about marriage. I strongly believe that some marriages end because people didn't get to know the person completely. I also understand that people change throughout the course of time. BUT IF COUPLES REALLY LOVE EACH OTHER, THEY WILL FIND A WAY TO STAY TOGETHER. NO MATTER WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES MAY BE. Although I am not a devout catholic, this is the institution that matters most to me. I know this sounds like a mushy romantic movie theme but this is what I think of marriage. Divorce makes marriage look like a short term agreement or a momentary contract with voidable terms.

Another reason why I am against this bill is that, I believe that the development of our youth today will primarily rely on the upbringing that the parents will give them. The development of a child would be primarily affected given if and when he grows up with only 1 parent. I think that the most conducive environment for children to grow in is within the boundaries of a complete family. I have no doubt that some parents can raise their children alone but it would absolutely make a big difference if all the elements of a family are complete. I come from a broken family so I know what it's like to grow up in this kind of situation. I wouldn't want other children to experience this kind of upbringing. I think that passing HB 1799 would just amplify a more unproductive and unstable society for the youth to dwell in.

This is my first entry and as I have said above, I have yet to read the provisions of the bill. My insights could probably change when I get to read the full text of the bill. There might be provisions in the bill that the family would really benefit from or there could be things that the government can do to help couples get  through their situation (I seriously doubt it). But for now, this is my stand. This is what I believe in.