Monday, July 18, 2011

Good Divorce?

I have laid out some arguments on why I think divorce is not an option at this point so now I am here to point out the good effects of divorce. As we all know, the Philippines is one of the few countries who has not passed the divorce bill and we can clearly see that our catholic orientation has been a dominant factor. In my previous arguments, I have stated that divorce is a way for couples to take marriage for granted. Given this, Filipino Catholics (especially the devout ones) tend to oppose the divorce bill. Marriage is not something that should be taken for granted and I truly believe that any problem between the married couple could be solved given the right opportunity. But what if the problem is beyond the couple’s ability to compromise? Do they still have to force things and make it work even though they have no possible solution to their problems?
Of course annulment is always a choice that every couple can make in order to achieve legal separation but is annulment enough for the growing amount of separation cases in the country? Here is why I think divorce should be implemented in the Philippines. First and foremost, divorce unlike annulment is an easier way to end thing between the couple. You might think that divorce can jeopardize the sacredness of marriage but I think the same can also be true with annulment. My second point is, Divorce is so much faster than annulment. In annulment, a lot of investigation must happen in order for the separation to materialize but in divorce, the consent of the couple is enough. Annulment is more costly than divorce since it takes a long time to process than divorce. Given this, we can clearly see that divorce is a timely option for the Filipino people because majority of the population are suffering from poverty.
A broken family is a bad situation for any child or parent but a whole family that is trying to pretend that everything is okay is even worse. I am not saying that a divorce is necessary for every broken marriage; all I am trying to say is if saving the marriage is not already an option then maybe the best way to end things is through the easiest way. I am a devout catholic and I still think that we must preserve the sanctity of marriage but if things are not working out for everyone then I guess that it is time to face reality and make things easier for everyone. I also know that the easy way out is not always the best way but in situations that involve the welfare of everyone in the family, I think the easy and the fast way should always be prioritized.
At this point, I am still not pro divorce bill but this article made me see the good things we can get from the bill. Of course, the negative effects still outweigh the good ones but I am confident that in time we will all reap the good benefits of the divorce bill.

Laws of Attraction

This topic reminds me of the film, “Laws of Attraction”. The film is about the two top divorce lawyers in New York City having opposing clients who want to have a divorce. The two lawyers face each other in court and they desperately want to win the case of their clients for the title of top divorce lawyer in the city. The main reason for the divorce is that the husband keeps on having affairs with other girls since he is a famous rock star. In the middle of the film, the couple was having a discussion regarding the separation of their properties. It seems they made the job of their lawyers a lot easier when both of them were only asking for one thing. Unfortunately, they are asking for the same thing. In an effort to win the case, both the lawyers went to Finland in order to gather information against their client’s opponents. When they got there in the evening, they had to wait until morning for the caretaker to arrive. In order to kill time, they went to a local bar. They found themselves enjoying each other’s company and soon enough, they were drowning in alcohol. Next morning when they woke up, they found out that they got married last night. They agreed to get a divorce when they get back to New York City and just forget things. As the plot of the film progressed, they grew fond of each other and eventually led to them living together.

This film paints a funny picture of how people can get too hasty with their decisions. They resort to having a quick solution to something that turned out to be not a problem after all. Taken from this example, if divorce was legal here in our country, people would have that tendency to resort to this quick solution to their relationship problem. Which could be very well a waste of opportunity to fix a problem that could still be fixed. If couples really love each other, they will find a way to work out their differences  and fall back to each other. This is why investing time in pre-marital relationship is very important. This is also the reason why I don’t believe in irreparable differences between couples. Irreparable differences only happen when they married the wrong person.  Marrying the wrong person would not happen if they took time to get to know each other very well.

It seems so easy but it’s really difficult to do, especially with the present condition of our society. What we need right now is to strengthen the bond between couples. But that lies within the family only. No outside force or influence can do that for them. In fact, in some cases, outside influences are the ones pushing couples to part ways. Of course, these opinions are coming from a stranger’s point of view. Like I said in the previous entries, only couples can fix their problems. Only they can resolve issues regarding themselves and their family.

May Divorce be with You

Perhaps there’s much more to this divorce thing than we should discuss. Divorce could have many false pretenses. When we think about it, is there really a need for divorce in the Philippines? Aren’t we coping well enough as we are right now? When we look at today’s society, we cannot deny that there are many failed relationships that have surfaced since we can remember. But to what reason can we blame these failed relationships? Let’s suppose that we do make divorce legal in our country, what effect would that have on us? People who got legally separated in our country are arguably happy right now with their lives. The only problem is that they can’t marry again. Perhaps it’s a case of learning their lessons?

If we legalize divorce in our country, we will allow separated couples to remarry. What good will that do? One of the arguments of the people in congress who are pushing to pass the bill is that, they want to lessen domestic violence against women and children. If we legalize divorce, what certainty will it give us that domestic violence will not take place again in the second marriage? It all boils down to the circumstances that people are in. Moreover, there’s no assurance that people who get divorced want to find a new spouse.

It’s just a wonder why congress is in a hurry to pass this certain bill. There are many other thing s that they should be putting their minds in to. There are some speculations that they are just using the divorce bill as a segue to distract the attention of the Filipino people from the issues that face the government.

If and when congress passes the said bill, I don’t think that the ordinary people can afford the due process of divorce. The upper class people would be the only ones who can afford it. The rest of the Filipino people will not have a choice whether the bill is passed or not because they don’t have the money to spend for lawyers. It will just be the same for them and it will make no difference. Another thing, I don’t think that the courts will have the time or the resources to deal with the number of cases of divorce that people will file once the bill becomes legalized. The time that it will take for those cases to be processed, and judged will take years to develop.

Lastly, we need to disclose information about this bill so that people would at least know that the what they can get from it. they need to explain it clearly especially to those who are against the bill that having it will make their lives easier. It would take a lot of effort and money for us because we need spend for materials and resources needed. Personal differences can be set aside for the benefit of greater good. Just be civil and not resort to drastic measures. 

The Sacrament of Marriage

The Philippines has the biggest Christian population in all of Asia. We take pride in our religion. We take pride in being a conservative Christian country. Even in our constitution, our book of laws, the presence of God is within its provisions. Nowhere in the teachings of Christ says that we should end our marriage. In fact, Christ himself is the basis of the sacrament of marriage. If we value our God and His teachings so much, why are we proposing a bill that would directly go against His word? Not only that, why do we put ourselves and our spouse and our relationship with him or her in peril?

I am not a conservative catholic, I admit. But if I look at the people around me, seeing broken families is almost normal already in our society. This should not be the case. If we truly value our religion, we should do everything that we can to fix our differences in our family. After all, it’s not everyday that we get to marry. Come to think of it, we should only get to marry once, and only once. Our sacraments should not be broken in any way.

We should not keep on making comparisons between our country and the US. we are a totally different people from them. we should not join this bandwagon. I personally think that there are tons of reasons that our country should stray from the influences of other countries.

From my own personal experience, having parents parting ways made it more difficult for me to grow up. The essence of a complete family is missing. The joys and the comfort of having both parents with you, supporting you, and guiding you as you grow makes it enviable for other children. It’s going to be difficult for a child to grow up with one parent missing. That’s why there are two people that should guide the child’s development. Having household help would not count as good as the care and nurturing of a real parent.

I’m guessing that the more problems that couples go through, the more they tend to break away from each other. That’s what we’re doing wrong. There are lots of ways where we can preserve the essence of the family. Not every family can be the successful at this I can admit, but as much as possible, we should not give ways wherein they can resort to breaking them up. There’s always a chance for them to take that option if it is given or presented to them.

Legalizing divorce would be a big mistake and would do no good to our society. We’re better off this way than to be like other countries out there where they give the couples the option to part ways. This would just encourage them to do so. We should always keep in mind that scared vow that we took and we should never break that vow. Breaking that vow would be like breaking a promise to God and our country.

Divorce and the Legal Process

Do people really understand the difference between divorce and legal separation? If you ask me there are only a few differences between the two. People say that legal separation takes a longer time than divorce that’s why divorce is better than just legal separation. Given the justice system here in our country, I don’t think that will necessarily be the case. A simple theft or robbery case takes so long to be settled in court. Unless you’re a big shot celebrity or government official, if you’re an accused criminal, you won’t even know that your case is being processed or anything. Worst comes to worst, you’re in jail without even knowing the duration of your sentence or without being sentenced at all. The justice system in our country needs more consistency .

When we think about it, why do people even consider about getting a divorce or legal separation in the first place? Why do people part ways? Could it be that one of them has become unfaithful? Could it be that one of them has just lost interest in the other? Or could it be that they married the wrong person? We really can’t tell what’s best for other’s relationship. What people don’t realize is that they should think well and through before they make that solemn vow.

Another thing that people say about divorce is that it would cost less and that it would be more efficient than legal separation. Again, given the justice system in our country and all the under the table transactions that go on, it would be just like any other case filed. Let’s face it, the only way for a case to progress significantly if you’re an ordinary citizen of our country is that if you have connections or give tips to people in positions.

The last thing that I would like to point out in this entry is that, divorce wouldn’t be a solution for a problem in a relationship. Again, I don’t believe in what they say as irreparable differences between couples. For me being in a relationship would mean that though sickness and health, through good times and bad, they should always stand together and work it out. As said in the constitution, the law shall protect the family at all cost. It doesn’t state that the law shall promote the separation of the couple when they face troubles. Naturally, when divorce is made legal, there is now the option for couples to part ways. Making divorce legal just makes the couple more vulnerable to separation even if what they’re facing can still be fixed. It encourages them to drastically put the family in jeopardy with its mere presence. That’s the main selling point of divorce.

People should take responsibility for their actions. Face the consequences and work them out like a family. Divorce should not be an option. Divorce should not even be in the mindset of the Filipino couple. Divorce is a social cancer. 

Divorce and Its Whereabouts

Are Filipinos ready for divorce? Do we even know what it’s all about? Why do we put so much importance on things that will benefit us in so little ways? My stand on this thing hasn’t changed just yet. I still firmly believe in the sanctity of marriage in our country. People often times misconstrue what divorce will actually bring to our society. What difference would it make if we allow people to forget the sacred vows that they took in front of God and the law? I don’t really believe in that divorce will make the lives of Filipinos easier nor that it will make our society a better place to live in in the future.

We can’t really make comparisons between our country and those who have a divorce law because, there’s no basis to start with. How can we compare ourselves to other nations when we are no where similar those successful countries at all. It’s bad enough that we want to be like the United States so bad that we have to compare us to them all the time, but we have to face the fact that we cannot be as successful as those other countries until we start putting the more important things first. I don’t understand why we have to be ignorant to the fact that the Philippines can do so much better if we just make the initiative.

Another thing that bothers me about those who are pushing for the bill to be passed is their argument that they want to lessen the number of abused women and children in our society. If you ask me, stricter implementation of the law is enough solution for all our problems. We have laws but we don’t even feel their presence. We see on TV government officials being accused of things but how many of the cases filed against them actually reach the courts? How many of those cases were able to be tried in court? How many of those accused were proven guilty and punished? In some cases, people who were proven guilty were just given a slap on the wrist. In some cases, some of them didn’t even go to prison. And if they did, they are being given special treatment.

What is wrong in our country today is the lack of knowledge of the basic laws of the majority of the Filipinos. But I can’t blame them. When all they see on TV and all they hear on the radio are government officials being accused of corruption, they would naturally feel indifferent towards the events that are taking place in our country. If there’s one thing I know for sure, divorce will just be an excuse for people to find an easy way out of their relationship problems. The bill itself has yet to be fully disclosed to all the people so that they can better understand the provisions and what it can do or not do for them. If they would just know the bill all throughout, I’m sure they would have second thoughts as well. 

Saturday, July 2, 2011

The Hot Topic

So everyone's talking about divorce today. What's the importance of divorce anyway? For me, there are more important topics to be discussed than the failed relationships of Filipinos. I don’t know why we insist on copying every aspect of the United States. We keep on comparing ourselves to them. I think it’s time for us Filipinos to make something new of ourselves in this world and step out of the shadows of the imperial U.S.

This post serves as a shout out to our humble lawmakers in congress. We should focus more on the issues that are continuously ravaging our country for the past few decades. First, the education in our country needs a whole lot more attention and budget from our government. How can we have a society filled with failed relationships when we already have a society filled with uneducated and misinformed children? It’s time we focus on the more important issues surrounding us. Misinformation is drastically deteriorating the quality of students that our schools are producing. Focus more on education and less time on divorce.

The next issue that I feel that needs to be addressed in our country is poverty. Each year, more and more families are saying that they are below the poverty line. We really can’t point to a definite cause for the poverty in our country. A lot of factors can be attributed to the given poverty situation. But one thing is for sure, we are not giving enough attention to it. Perhaps we are too preoccupied with the trivial things that will make us look good in the eyes of other countries.

The last issue that I would like to discuss is corruption. I feel that this is the biggest problem that we’re facing right now. This problem contributes to the development of other problems in our country. It’s really hard to do the right thing especially when we’re in power. Saying no to something that will give you all the comfort and luxury that you can get your hands on is almost impossible. The problem of corruption in our government directly leads to the earlier two problems above discussed. Funds which are intended for the benefit of the common good aren’t being properly handled. In fact, in some cases, funds aren’t even being delivered at all. It’s really hard to be selfless when there are millions and millions of pesos that you can benefit from.

If you can deduce from the statements above, it all boils down to the willingness to make a difference. Filipinos have that tendency of going with the flow. We all get that typical “bahala na” mindset that we don’t even realize that it it’s the main reason why we are in this current situation in the first place. If we all just have the willingness and the right mind to make this country a better place to live in for us Filipinos, I think we can all surpass other countries in the world. If we want to be like the United States so bad, we should first want to be ourselves first. We should make that distinct Filipino identity of success that we can boast to other nations.

We are a nation of hard working people, and not a nation of maids and domestic helpers. We are a nation of capable individuals who can excel in every aspect of living. We can compete with the best of the world, and we can be the best in the world.